Cries of the Silent

I’m in a self-existential crisis. Do I even exist?

According to Twitter, the answer is yes… and no.

Try performing a search on Twitter. As long as you select “All tweets“, you’ll see mostly everyone in the world who has typed your search phrase in a recent tweet. The only missing tweets are those who’ve set their profile to “protected”, and any tweets from (public) account @jiannmeng.

Which is of course, my account.

Here’s an example: as part of the Otak-Otak Internship Program, we have been bribed coerced asked to tweet about the program as much as possible. Preferably with the hashtag #2013OtakOtak. You won’t find any of my tweets there.

Even worse, searching a username finds you all tweets by that person, and everyone who mentioned that user. Compare the searches for, say, @victordonttweet and @jiannmeng. Evidently Twitter thinks Victor is more important than me, which is proof that there is an error in their search algorithm.

What does this mean for me?

1. I’ll never be a Twitter celebrity. My well-crafted, intelligent, funny tweets (all most of them) will never be seen by the general public. Only those who follow me will ever taste the drops of wisdom I produce.

2. I will never win anything from a hashtag competition. No free smartphones or vouchers for me.

3. My very existence continues to be questioned. I exist on Twitter yet my voice is never heard publicly. But existence on Twitter is, by design, characterised by the tendency to shout very loudly about everything without regard to its actual relevance. I have done, still do, and will continue to do that, but I will never reach the upper echelons of the Twitterazzi.

Note: I wanted to complain about this on Twitter, but…

The Problems We Face

First world problem: My iPhone battery only lasts 90% of the workday.

Second world problem: First world infrastructure, third world mentality.

Third world problem: Mosquito larvae in my drinking water.

Fourth world problem: Until I find the missing flux capacitor, I’m stuck in 1963.

Fifth world problem: JELLYBEANS EVERYWHERE

Sixth world problem: I hate being a hamburger.

Seventh world problem: l̡̡̡)͇̿̿)̿̿̿̿ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡h ̡̡͡e▫̲͡l ̲̲̲͡͡p¸ /̵͇̿̿/ø¤m ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡e ̲|̡̡̡ ̡’̿̿̿̿̿’̿̿̿ ‘̿̿̿̿̿̿\̵͇̿̿ı̴̡̡

Tripos (a.k.a. The Exam Game)

I haven’t posted for a really long time, but there’s a good reason. Ever since I got into Cambridge, I’ve been playing this game called “Tripos”. I’ve since learned that it’s actually quite a popular played all around the work with different names (I think most of UK calls it “The Exam Game”), but I’ll call it Tripos since I’m used to it. Anyway here’s how it goes:

Rules of Tripos:

  1. Divide the players into two teams: “Tripos” and “Undergrads”.
  2. The Undergrads are blindfolded and placed in the middle of the field. The Tripos stands in a circle around the Undergrads.
  3. Study Phase: The Tripos throws as many books as possible at the Undergrads in 5 minutes. If an Undergrad catches a book before it hits the ground, he is deemed to have “studied” and may keep the book. Any book unstudied may be retrieved and thrown at the Undergrads again.
  4. Tripos Phase: After 5 minutes are up, the Tripos move 20 steps away from the Undergrads. The Undergrads remain blindfolded. Undergrads throw their studied books at the Tripos. Each hit is worth a degree point.
  5. The game is over when the Undergrads run out of books.

Nobody wins. But anyone who doesn’t get at least one degree point can never play Tripos in Cambridge again.

Cempaka Saga: Dustin North Vs. Freida Pilus

As a former Cempakan, I find this debate highly relevant and (don’t hate me) slightly amusing.

Dustin North resigns from CILC.

Datin Frieda Pilus’s response.

Miss Sam’s (the other teacher) resignation letter.

Dustin North’s follow-up.

Please be sure to read at least the first two links fully before taking a side.

(By the way, it feels to me that Miss Sam’s letter is suspiciously similar in style and substance to Dustin’s own writing.)