Summer Crushes

You know, I don’t crush easily.

Sure, there’s always been someone I’ve had my eye on for a while. I’ve heard about them, sometimes met them, sometimes just hearing about them from other people. But there’s no intimate close relationship, is there? It’s sort of unreciprocated, always just out of reach, and anyways you’re not really my type.

But you, Jane, oh, you seem different.

Let’s back up. We had dinner today. Ok,not dinner, just a date. It’s not my fault! You said we’d just have refreshments, something light, so I had dinner just before. I never expected you to make dinner! I really felt bad not being able to eat much of the food you prepared. I guess it wasn’t the best start between us. I was slightly late, out of breath after cycling, not looking my best. Ahh look at me, I’m rambling.

Anyways! Dinner! I loved the little mini-pies, and the chocolate brownies. You really know what I like, that’s for sure. And the wine. That was pretty good.

Ok, this is getting awkward. Shall we just be honest? Suck up all the awkwardness, let’s just talk. Get it all out there.

You’re quite unlike everyone else. There’s the hot ones, like Meryl and Morgan, who are just so popular. They’re rich, they’re famous, they lead the glamorous Hollywood life. And of course they attract guys like fleas. But I have a feeling that that’s not the kind of life I’d want to live. Keeping up with you 24/7, never resting, always trying to please you with more money, more money, more money. I’m not that kind of guy, probably.

Then there’s ones like you. Perhaps I’m just naive, and you’re one of them. But you seem so much more laid-back. There’s less pressure, you’re not chasing obscene amounts of wealth and fame like the others (though you do agree with me that having lots of money is always a good thing). We click pretty well too, if you don’t mind me saying. Maths, economics, computer stuff, we like it for its own sake and for its applications, and that’s pretty appealing to me.

I’m not really saying anything, am I? The crux is this: you don’t pretend. Or at least, I don’t think you do. The others, they say they love intelligence over style, smarts over looks, etc., but is this really true? Perhaps, perhaps not, but I think when you say it, you mean it.

That’s why this blog post is up. My own insecurities. I know you like your London guys. And wow, are those Londoners smooth. They have so much experience in wooing people like you. Like the people at LSE; they’re groomed from day one to make you like them. They have the smarts, the skills, the knowledge on how you behave. And how do I compete with them way back here in Cambridge? I’m hardly the best guy in Cambridge either. How do I make you notice me…

Then there’s the fact you’re local to London. You told me you were born in New York, but you’re in London now. And that means that no matter what happens, after being in cities like that, you’d never come to Malaysia, would you? I love London, it appeals to me like no other city does. But I’m from Malaysia, and I’m really, really comfortable back home. Do I really want to have a long-distance relationship like this? Some people can do it, I’m not sure I can. Although it is really, really tempting. I don’t mean any offense (hmm, that statement is almost always false), but you Westerners are just more appealing than Malaysians. I won’t elaborate. This is a public post, and I don’t want to offend anyone, but if you are offended, I think you’ll realise that what I’m saying is true.

This whole thing is a new game to me. Getting out there, meeting people, having dates like this. Really, this is the first time I’ve been so bold as go approach you, instead of waiting for someone to take interest in me. And I really liked it. So despite everything I’ve said up there, no matter how much I complain, I really do like you, and I want to meet again soon.

So Jane Street, please read my CV and cover letter and let me know if I can intern there over summer. Thanks.

-Jiann Meng

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